Let me be honest with you. I owe Taylor Swift an apology. I’ve been critical of her, because I’m a flawed human. I am judgmental. It was so subconscious that I failed to realize it until a friend introduced me to the band, I Prevail. They covered Ms. Swift’s song, Blank Space. (I Prevail, Blank Space)
Because it wasn't Taylor Swift, I listened to the song. Really listened to it, like I do when I hear something on the radio I really like; turn it up, lean in a little and focus up. Every word sank deep into emotions I have felt as a human and a woman. They are turning points and memories of my journey. In her words, so I know she shares those emotions with me, those experiences.It was passionate, it was real and raw enough to make me feel. Mind: Blown.
It took a different voice to make me hear it. I hadn't noticed until now, because that wounded part of my soul bitterly thought, ‘what does that perfect rich girl know about heartbreak or real life?’ Because my jaded self, the tired part, convinced me she sounded whiny. When I listened to the cover song, this slowly dawned on me. As hard as I tried not to, I was almost reflexively participating in behaviors I intellectually scorned. There are two words for this; the scientific one is ‘cognitive dissonance’. The literary one is ‘hypocrisy’.
I don’t have to like her music to understand her journey as a person, and one doesn't justify the other. But, don't take my word for it. Let me explain, and decide for yourself.
“I could show you incredible things/Magic, madness, heaven, sin”
New attraction; the way-too-electric connection with a total stranger. The person that makes you sit up and take note; the one that makes you feel like you just came out of a coma. Every part of you is alive, makes bold and excited. We’ve all felt it. Acting on it is a toss up between happy endings and bad decisions, but we’ve all flipped that coin.
“Got a long list of ex-lovers/They'll tell you I'm insane “
Let’s pretend for a moment that we've suspended reality, and we actually remember no one can hear us in our heads. They only person judging us in there is ourselves. You’re sitting around and the topic of an ex comes up; your’s or someone else’s. How many times has the phrase ‘he/she was crazy; just nuts’ been uttered? If we’re being honest, I can’t put a real number I feel ok with on it but the percentage is high.
Sometimes, it’s justified. Sometimes, it’s just that thing we say when they drove us nuts with their emotions. I know I’ve been the crazy one; I’ve had a few too, if still we’re being honest. I guess Ms. Swift has, as well. Go figure, she’s human like the rest of us.
“So hey, let's be friends/I'm dying to see how this one ends”
I guess relationships, with all their emotional waves, started working on the jaded part of Taylor too. Probably didn’t help that there are people like me out here, pretending like I haven't felt it too, just for spite so I can justify my snide-ness.
I feel you Taylor, and I’m sorry I dismissed your emotions with jaded rhetoric. Some loves just don’t work, don’t let it make you doubt yourself. It’s the dirty realization of adulthood; insecurities don’t disappear when we grow up. They just turn into a host of other words; words like idiosyncrasies, hangups, issues. This is Einstein, applied to social behaviorism; the “energy can neither be created nor destroyed, it merely changes forms” of human emotions. You’ll figure out how to redirect it, to grow into it. You’ll find your voice.
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